The Magic Club Goes on Maury
by Pineapple-7Up
Summary: A slight sequel to my Jerry MTT fic. Oo;; Enjoy. Very slight shojo/shonen ai.


Today on Maury: Who's the father of my child?

Maury: Today on the show we're going to do another one of our "who's the father of my child?" Only this time there will be a slight twist!

-Audience "oooo's" in anticipation-

Maury: That's right! Instead of bring out the usual American sluts—I mean troubled mothers—we're going international! 

-Audience goes silent in annoyance for this being Maury's 100th attempt to up his ratings with the DNA tests-

-Maury coughs nervously then makes a gesture to some one off stage- o_o

-A familiar, bald security guard then comes out, making his way to the back of the audience, sits, and polishes his .45 magnum- 

Maury: Now, without further adieu.. Let's introduce our first international guest, Sawanoguchi Sae, straight from Tokyo, Japan!

-Sae walks out on stage dressed in white, spaghetti strap shirt and a pale pink mini skirt-

-Audience cheers excitedly in fear- O_O()

Sae: -waves happily- Hi~! What am I here for again? ^-^

Maury: -blinks some- Uh.. to hopefully find out who the father of your child is.. _

Sae: -squeals loudly- M—m—my Ch—ch—child??!!  @___@v;;;;;;;

-Nanaka then comes dashing out on the stage and sits in an empty chair beside Sae-

Sae: N—Nanaka!

Nanaka: Oh Sae! I know this is still so hard on you! –gives her a big hug and whispers in her ear- You fool! Remember they told us this was a set up! Just play the part and we'll get the cash to have a club trip to Okinawa this winter! ¬_¬()

Maury: So you are the men that you'd like to introduce as a potential father?

Nanaka: -nudges Sae and whispers- Just name the people you've "been with"

Sae: -nods- Right! Um.. Lets see.. people I've been with.. OH~! The people would be Takakura Takeo, Aburatsubo Ayanojou, Aikawa Akane, and –points to Nanaka- Nakatomi Nanaka!

-Everyone, except Sae, falls to the ground anime-style-

Sae: -blinks a bit- Was the list to long? ;-;

Maury: -rubs the back of his head- W—well.. Let's bring them out!

-The others come out and sit in the empty chairs-

Nanaka: -grabs Sae by the shoulders and shakes her- Sae! You're not s'post to name all your friends! Just the people you've had "sex" with!

Takeo: -blinks some- Sex with.. O_O!!! What the Hell? I've never had sex with anyone! Although it would be nice if Sawanoguchi and I.. –goes off into a fantasy-

Sae: But Nanaka.. That one time I was at your house and we found the saki and—

Nanaka: -turns a dark red, covers Sae's mouth and sweat drops- Shhhz! I told you to forget about that! O_O()

-Audience oooo's as Takeo, Aburatsubo and Akane stare at Nanaka-

Takeo: That.. wasn't in the show briefing..

Akane: -looks at her watch- Can we hurry this up? I have to get back for a photo shoot.

Maury: -grows angry- Damn it! THIS IS NOT JERRY SPRINGER!!! _

Sae: I know, we we're already on his sh—

-All of the magic club members cover Sae's mouth-

Maury: -coughs- Sorry, lost the happy.. Before I show the results.. Takeo, what will you do for the 3-month-old Aiko if she is your child? 

Takeo: Well I guess I would—wait a second… -stands up quickly, knocking his chair over and points back and forth at Nanaka and Sae- Y—you and you... NOOOOOOOOOO~!!!! T_T!!

Akane: -looks at the child's picture on the screen and sweat drops- Isn't that…

Maury: . . . Aburatsubo, what would you do if the child is yours?

Aburatsubo: -rubs Takeo's back in soothing circles- it's ok, honey. I'm still here for you. ^-^

Maury: ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED ANY LONGER!! Ò_Ó

Aburatsubo: -looks at Maury- I'm gay. o.o

Maury: -grits his teeth- I'm glad you're so "happy" now answer the question..

Aburatsubo: No.. I'm _gay_.. 

-Maury makes a gesture at the security guard-

-Security guard loads the gun and takes aim-

Aburatsubo: I'm be ever so happy and do my part to be a good dad! O_O()

Maury: That's what I thought..

-Security guard sits back down, polishing the gun again-

Maury: Sae, who do wish is the father?

Sae: Nanaka. ^_^

Nanaka: x_x; Sae! Choose a _male_!

Sae: OH! Um.. I guess Takakura-sempai.

Takeo: -turns a dark red- Wha…?

Maury: -opens the envelope- When it comes to Sae's child, Aburatsubo.. you are…

-Maury takes his usual long pause-

Maury: Not the father.

-Audience cheers-

Aburatsubo: -mutters- I told you I was gay..

Akane: -tugs on Nanaka's arm- Um.. Nanaka-sempai…

Nanaka: Not now! Shhz!

Maury: Takeo.. when it comes to Sae's child..

-Pauses again-

Maury: You are not the father.

-Audience cheers again-

Maury: So are there any other men you'd like to bring out for a sequel, maybe?

Sae: -blinks- But you didn't give the results for Nanaka or Akane! ;-;

Maury: o_o; Right… You know it's impossible for two females to procreate, yes?

Sae: Huh? ^-^

Nanaka: God.. I so do not know her.. -.-;

Akane: Heheheh.. Yah! Well.. let's go back to Japan!

Sae: -sniffles- But I wanna know the results! ;-;

Maury: Fine. o_o; When it comes to Sae's child.. –looks at paper- Nanaka, you are not the father. Go figure.

Nanaka: Thank you, Captain Obvious. o_O;

Akane: -twitches some- Um.. um… _;

Maury: When it comes to Sae's child.. yadda yadda.. Akane, you are no— -looks at the paper and blinks- You _are_ the father! O_O

-Audience cheers-

Sae: -claps her hands together- Yay! ^-^

Nanaka: What the Hell..? o.o;

Takeo: O_O! NOOO!!!

Aburatsubo: -nuzzles Takeo- See, hun. If they can do it so can we.. ^_^

Takeo: Eee.. @_@v;; -loses consciousness- 

Akane: Damn it! _

Aburatsubo: -kisses Takeo- Wakey, wakey! ^_^

Takeo: -squeals- O_O

Nanaka: Akane.. o_o; Explain.

Akane: u.u; One of my dates got me pregnant so my agent got rid of the baby. He said he sold it to some TV show in America but I didn't think _this_ would happen..

-Audience murmurs at the thought of all these parent test shows being fake-

Sae: Did I win a prize? ^-^

Nanaka: -fwaps Sae- Let's just all go home.

Maury: You fools! YOU REUINED MY SHOW!! _

-Maury goes ballistic and starts throwing chairs left and right whilst grunting like a wild boar- 

Security Guard: Maury remind Steve of old talk show host boss.. Steve no like! STEVE BURN THINGS!

-Magic club looks at Steve, then at each other-

Nanaka: It can't be..

Takeo: No.. the same one..?

Sae: Hey! He's our friend from the Jerry show! ^-^ HI STEVE! –waves-

-Steve starts firing the gun into the air while screaming random things in gibberish-

-Audience members scream and attempt to flee while the magic club goes off stage and use their magic to get them out-

-Maury sets fire to the stage and does an Irish jig as things burn all around-

-The studio burns down.. survivors: Unknown-

~*~*~*~*~ Tokyo, Japan ~*~*~*~*~

Nanaka: I don't care how much we get offered.. I don't think we should ever go back to America..

Takeo: I hear ya..

Aburatsubo: -pinches Takeo's bum- Some of it was fun this time. ^_^

-Takeo squeals and clings to a wall-

Sae: I thought all of it was fun! ^-^ Where's Akane?

Nanaka: She left, muttering something about death and destruction towards her agent.

-------------------------End-------------------------

Nikki: Hm.. Interesting.. Oo; Its amazing what ADD and Mt. Dew can do to some one.. I will admit, not as funny as my first talk show one –shrugs- oh well I had fun writing, hope you liked it! XD Either way, please review!


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